My senior year of college could be likened to Chernobyl when it comes to the fallout I had with the guys I hooked up with. It was always a giant mess. I could have just made out with someone and it would turn out to be a big deal. My school was pretty small. 1200 students, of which only about 750 lived on campus(and half of those were freshmen I didn’t interact with).The joke was that by Saturday brunch, everyone would know what you were up to on Friday night.
Luckily, I rarely made it to brunch. However, I do remember walking in for dinner or lunch on many an occasion and feeling the eyes of people burning into the back of my skull.
I’ll admit, I was pretty easy. If I was drunk, I probably would have made out with you. If you were capable of having an intelligent conversation and/or I thought you were attractive, I probably would have done more than make out with you.
Everything seemed so simple when I was making the my decisions, but by the time it came to go grab a meal, nothing was simple anymore. Everyone was friends with everyone and I was always within a few degrees of someone I had previously hooked up with. Of those 750 people on campus, I always managed to hookup with a friend of someone I had hooked up with previously and everyone had something to say about it.
If my social life was built like a nuclear power plant, it would have been Chernobyl with its shoddy engineering and its inability to contain an exploding nuclear reactor.
Three years later, I’m out of college and I’ve seen a big difference. My life is now like Three Mile Island; there is no fallout. Or rather, the fallout is minimal. I’ve been reasonably irresponsible in my current situation. I’ve been going out, doing my thing, and not thinking too much about “how will this play out on Monday?”
If I learned anything in college, it wasn’t about Plato – it was about hookup damage control and management. I guess I forgot all about that when I graduated. Walking in on Monday afternoon, I expected the whispers and stares I was so used to in college.
Turns out that didn’t happen.
There was no Chernobyl-like meltdown, the fallout was minimal. I was not used to this. It had the potential to be disastrous but it wasn’t.
I know, I’m lucky.
After years of nuclear power-plant like fallout from my late night night adventures, I am glad to finally dealing with less problems. It’s like my life has turned into Three Mile Island, it’s definitely engineered better now that it was 3 years ago.
<– Me (present day): Pretty, clean, no sign of deviant behavior
Filed under: men | Tagged: Chernobyl, college, deviant, engineering, hookup, sex, Three Mile Island
